Don't Cross The Invisible Line

We all have one and it's different for each individual but if you've been with someone for awhile you generally know them well enough to at least have an idea of where their invisible line rests. For some people it's as simple as not being a lover of their favorite animal for others its personal space. I fall into the latter category, Im willing to put up with a lot when I love someone but checking my mail, reading my texts, going through my phone or TELLING YOUR OR MY FAMILY MY PERSONAL SHIT that is, quite frankly, none of their damn business does nothing but PISS ME OFF. Am I over-reacting here? I don't think so. My family knows none of the skeletons in my S.O's closet, why? because it is not their skeletons nor any of their business- so why, pray tell, does his family know MY skeletons? Can someone please fucking enlighten me on this? I'm seriously at the point where Im about ready to say fuck my rule about respecting others privacy and having others mind their own business and instead start sharing personal and private secrets that could negatively effect the opinions anyone who hears these secrets used to hold regarding the person whose secrets I would be sharing- fuck turn the other cheek I'm about ready to grab my sword and play "eye for an eye". The limit has been reached. Here's to everyone who's reading this' limits and the hopes that your limits are not surpassed by the people you choose to love.

I almost asked you to marry me today...

So there I am cleaning the house, listening to music and the song "Quitter" by Carrie Underwood comes on. I find myself actually listening to the words instead of just humming along obliviously like usual and I realize that this song epitomizes me, my past relationships and our present relationship. I'm poised to run, almost all the time and you just patiently pull me down from that edge and keep me here where I belong, where I feel comfortable, where I'm loved and happy. In a moment of what can only be termed as temporary insanity, I hopped on youtube to find the song, in my head is typing out the comment I'm going to leave with it when I post it to your facebook wall; something along the lines of "I'm so glad I'm no longer a quitter, Lee David Toland will you marry me?".Sometime between hopping onto the computer and typing the song title into google, cooler heads prevailed. I realized how humiliating it would be to have to explain to the entire "public" that had witnessed the display that you had turned me down, or even worse patted me on the head with a condescending look and tone the way you did when I told you about my conversation with Kylene and how I had thought of proposing to you that day. "That's really cute but..." is not what a girl wants to hear when she lays her heart on the line. So for now I remain content to be forever your live-in girlfriend, but I'll be staying away from Carrie Underwood songs for a while...I won't lie and say that things like this don't cause all sorts of doubts to run through my head but I'm trying to work through it. I think we are both worth the work, and so is our love. I know you have to do way more work because I'm a hell of a lot more frustrating to you than you are to me, of course part of that is just because I don't allow myself to become as easily frustrated as you do. I do appreciate all the efforts you make just in putting up with me and I'm sure our daughter does as well. I love you but I won't be proposing to you any time soon.

Tissy Fits Are For 12 Year Old Girls

Stop getting all bent out of shape at the term, yes even males can have tissy fits and a tissy fit by any other name is still a tissy fit so call it whatever you want, brooding, stewing, etc etc but knock it off.

Let me clarify what I mean by "tissy fit". Your significant other ticks you off, instead of growing some balls (or putting on your big girl panties, for the females reading this) manning up and telling your significant other what's bothering you and why so the two of you can fix it you go into pissed off stony silence mode. Pissed off stony silence mode comes complete with combative body stance, clenched jaws, dirty looks, stomping of feet, slamming of cabinets and doors, pointedly ignoring your significant other and just general douchebaggeryness. This is a male tissy fit and is NOT ok. Especially when this behavior is coming from one of those types of males that insist the girl sit down and talk it out, explain her feelings etc. Wanting your significant other to talk it out but allowing yourself to wallow in your tantrum and not talk it out is called hypocrisy- double standards are NOT ok!

So next time you're all bent out of shape and feel like slamming a door, cupboard, etc or even better get that urge to start throwing and kicking things do me a favor: take a deep breath, pull up the big boy boxers and talk it out like an ADULT. K? Thanks.

Money Wars...

Don't go getting defensive and patting your back pocket to make sure your wallet's in there. This post has nothing to do with guy's needing to earn a certain amount, pay for everything, spend atrocious amounts on holidays, anniversary's or engagement rings, etc etc. All that is as annoying to me as it is to you most likely and will be addressed later in a blog entitled "Money-grubbing sluts"...

This particular blog, however, is regarding the incapabilities of a large majority of the male gender to budget and save. I honestly cannot name the number of males I know or have had dealings with in the past who whine, whine, whine about bills not getting paid, needs not getting met and the lack of money they have only to do research and then find out that the important bills like phone, electric, car insurance could have been paid if he hadn't just spent $150+ on that new "must-have" collectors edition video game and insiders guide, or $150+ on that new ipod that holds a whole 50 more songs than his old one which is still in perfect working condition. Etc.

It's called PRIORITIZING people. And as much as the game and insiders guide may be more fun than paying your car insurance the car insurance is what keeps you from getting a ticketed fine, an impounded car fine, and a black mark on your driving record. While the new Ipod may be more fun to listen to and save you 15 minutes of time going through and deleting some old songs to make room for new, the PG&E bill is what provides heat in your house to keep your children from freezing to death or catching illnesses, it's also what allows you to cook food so none of your family starves. FUN is not the priority, being up to date with the "cool kids" on the latest fashion and game fun is NOT the priority, having the newest, coolest, or most expensive is NOT the priority.

Keeping yourself and your family fed, clothed, warm and safe is the priority, minimizing expenses by preventing things like $100+ tickets by keeping your car in good repair and fully insured and registered is the priority. Fun, new, cool, expensive, come later AFTER all the bills have been paid, animals have been cared for and food has been bought. THEN you can spend or save what's left on games, clothes, movies and fun.

Write a budget and STICK TO IT. Every time you think about fudging on it and splurging bill or food money on something you DON'T NEED, take a look at your children and then ask yourself if whatever you want is really worth STEALING from your kids. Because in essence, that's what you're doing every time you spend NEEDS money on WANTS: STEALING FROM YOUR KIDS.

The sex files

OK. Common misconception about sex;
"when a girl is upset/emotional having sex with her is 'taking advantage' and will screw her up emotionally/mentally"
NOT TRUE. At least, not always. Is it possible to take advantage of a females emotional state and get her to have sex with you when she otherwise may have said no? Yes, and DO NOT use this blog as your excuse to do so. Does this mean that any time your female is having an emotional day you should turn down sex? NO, NO, NO!
You know what REALLY screws a female up and messes with her emotions? Having a male reject her sexually. That leaves scars that stay with us for life. If your female is making sexual suggestions/advances it means that the emotional trauma is over and she wants sex. Turning her down at this point is actually doing more harm. This is another instance in which you would want to hang up the shiny silver armor and stable that White Horse.
Yes, years later when we aren't all emotionally butt-hurt over the rejection and are thinking objectively we will say "Awww he was just being noble and looking out for my feelings" however that sweetness does not outweigh the fact that it came at the price of Sexual Rejection.
When it comes to sexual rejection girls are all emotion. We can not think rationally or logically. We can pretend we do, we can even occasionally convince the male gender we do. But while on the outside we are the calm rational "oh no I totally understand you're not rejecting me, you were just trying to protect my feelings" on the inside we are thinking "he thinks I'm ugly - I've gotten fat, I knew he was lying when he said he didn't notice that extra 5 pounds - He's found someone else he thinks is prettier/better in bed than me- I knew i sucked in bed, why am I so bad at sex?"- and many, many more.
Sexual Rejection is one of the biggest mental/emotional mind fucks out there for the female gender. While you should not be making sexual advances or comments while shes crying on your shoulder or just finished crying on your shoulder. If she makes the move it is perfectly alright for you to take her up on the offer. Trust me. The harm done by saying no to her sexual advances, is more harm than can possibly come from any regret she may feel the next morning.
SO STOP BEING NOBLE BECAUSE YOU'RE SCREWING US UP!!!